


flower at the edge of the hill

by buzzbug82



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst and Feels, Character Death, Domestic Fluff, Fantasy Timeline, M/M, Romance, TW: blood and violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27160589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buzzbug82/pseuds/buzzbug82
Summary: Being able to see your beloved at every reincarnation is a kind of happiness.And a curse..For SehoFest Round 2 (2020) - SeHo in a Song
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun
Comments: 9
Kudos: 71
Collections: Round 2: SeHo in a Song





	flower at the edge of the hill

**Author's Note:**

> #Prompt5  
> Song Title/Artist: Baechigi- Fly with the Wind
> 
> Prompt: Junmyeon is immortal but his lover, Sehun isnt, and he’s always destined to die young. For thousand of years, he falls in love with Sehun and his incarnations over and over again. The ache of seeing Sehun die multiples each time.
> 
> A/N: Dear prompter, I really hope you enjoy(?) this and it is up to your liking.

* * *

  
  
  
  
  


Gatherings of the black. A man reading something beside the casket. Sniffles. Quiet. Wind. 

Peace. 

"So young…" 

"Such a gentleman…" 

"How did he die?" 

"The carriage they rode hit a rock and fell over."

"The door broke."

"His head hit the stone pavement."

"But his partner survived?" 

"Seems like he protected his partner when it happened."

"How so?" 

"They found his partner unconscious in his arms."

“Poor soul…”

  
  
  


Noise. 

Noise.

Noise.

Junmyeon gripped his knuckles tight, leaving red marks all over his skin. His head bowed low, hidden under his big, black hat. Didn't mean he couldn't hear all those whispers. Didn’t mean he couldn’t feel his skin crawling with all their stares.

The casket lowered into the ground. Buried under the ground. Fresh dirt upon the wood. 

When the funeral ended, some people approached him to say their condolences. He just nodded at them without saying anything. They were all friends and neighbours that Junmyeon met after moving into the town, and Junmyeon would not see them again after this. After the last person was gone, and he was alone, Junmyeon crouched in front of the tombstone and placed a bouquet of _purple hyacinth_ on the ground. 

"Please," Junmyeon whispered, desperately. "Please rest in peace."

Written on the tombstone, was a name. 

  
  


S E H U N

  
  


Died at the age of 36.

  
  
  
  
  
  


_I’m floating around alone  
_ _Everyone around me is leaving_

_Seats are emptying one by one_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


That was 280 years ago. 

It was a dull day with a dull sky. Junmyeon ran along the alleyway, hurrying with his coat and hat in his hands. He arrived at the library just before the clock strike eight in the morning, and took out his key to unlock the door. He took his time cleaning and organizing the books for opening time. Several city kids came in, sneaking around and giggling behind the bookshelves, and Junmyeon smiled amusedly to himself, pretended not to see them. 

After the library was open, a couple of people came in to return books. Two gentlemen asked for the day's newspaper. An elderly lady requested for an escort to the hobby's section. 

“Mr. Junmyeon,” It was eleven am when one of the kids approached him when he was returning the borrowed books to the shelves. The girl smiled up to him, a small bunch of wildflowers in her hands. Some smaller kids hide behind her, giggling. The kids were homeless and had no families, and they loitered around the city seeking food and places to sleep. Junmyeon usually let them use the library to seek shelters during the day.

Junmyeon crouched in front of her, accepting the flowers. “Thank you, dear. They’re beautiful.” He smiled. “As thanks, would you like some milk and biscuits?”

The kids nodded eagerly.

Junmyeon led them towards the backroom, where he gave them some milk and biscuits, bread and fruits. After they were done, he sent them off and admonished them to not make noises or disturb any people in the library.

In mid-afternoon, Junmyeon closed the counter, took a break and gazed outside from the back room's window, sitting on an old armchair with a coffee in hand. 

His life had been in pause with the constant mundane for the last five years.

When he returned to work, there were fewer people in the library. The kids were nowhere to be seen either. He sat at the counter to do his filing. 

"Excuse me, I would like to borrow this book, please."

Junmyeon pushed himself from his work desk and put down his file, head bowed. "Sure, your card, sir?" 

"I actually don't have a library card yet, can I make one?" 

Junmyeon absent-mindedly picked up a card and a pen and slipped them in front of the man. "Please fill in your name, age and address here," he glanced up. "Please pen in your signature too. The duration for borrowing is—" 

His mouth clamped shut. 

The man— tall, handsome, broad-shouldered; wrote his details in the card, then looked at Junmyeon with a smile. "It's fortnight, right? I read the instructions at the front." He put down his signature. "Now, what should I do?" 

Junmyeon blinked a couple of times, took the card and wrote down the name of the book and the date. "It's done."

The man smiled. He watched Junmyeon properly and tapped the book in his hand. "Thank you, sir. I'll see you soon."

Junmyeon watched in silent as the man walked away, the book under his arm. He picked up the umbrella he left by the door, and disappeared into the streets of people. 

Junmyeon looked down to the card. 

Sehun, 24, Boulevard St. 5th Avenue. 

  
  


Junmyeon found him. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


That night, after closing the library and going back to his small apartment, he stayed by the windowsill all night, watching the street below while holding an old photo. Expecting something. Someone. The night was cold and dull, the sky was filled with clouds and Junmyeon felt like he’s in dream land. The blanket around him felt like a lost hug.

By nine am, he was standing in front of the book cart, slowly checking the return books, eyes occasionally darted towards the entrance. 

Sehun died 280 years ago. And now he has returned. And Junmyeon has found him. 

“Mr. Junmyeon, what is this book about?” A small boy, with pudgy hands and just a little shorter than Junmyeon’s hips, leaned over the cart and showed the book he found. 

“It’s about a reporter, travelling the world to solve mysteries.” He replied gently, smiling down. 

“Ohh,” the small boy nodded, his big eyes grew in interest. The girl, which seemed like the oldest in the group, peered over the boy’s shoulder. “Can you read it to us, please?”

Junmyeon chuckled. “Sure, I will read it to you during my break time..”

He didn’t expect to see Sehun, thinking he wouldn’t be back so soon after borrowing the book just yesterday. But he was wrong. The moment Sehun walked into the library, Junmyeon’s world went silent. 

Slow.

Bright.

Blinding.

The taller man looked around, as if he was looking for something. Or someone. When he spotted Junmyeon among the bookcases, his eyes brightened slightly. He walked to him, and Junmyeon felt his breath caught. 

"Mr. Junmyeon?" 

He snapped out of his trance, then looked down at the children gathering around him with worried eyes. "Yes?"

"Why are you crying?" 

Junmyeon gasped. He put his fingers over his cheek, and it was indeed wet. 

"I— It’s nothing, it’s just the dust—" 

A handkerchief appeared on his line of sight. Junmyeon slowly looked up, to see Sehun standing in front of him.

Junmyeon quickly shook his head. God, he had lived 280 years without Sehun. He missed him. He missed Sehun so much. He held himself back the whole night from tearing down the town to find his beloved. But having the person stood in front of him was a different feeling all-together, he wanted to cry and kiss the man to prove he was real, and not just a distinct memory anymore.

Of course, Sehun couldn't possibly remember him. It's been hundreds and hundreds of years. As he was reincarnated again and again, of course his old memories would have been gone and building new ones. It’s just the way it was supposed to be.

He never remembered Junmyeon.

Junmyeon's trembling hand reached out to take the handkerchief. 

“Mr. Junmyeon?” The girl asked again.

“I’m fine, sweetie. Now why don’t you go and play? Don’t make too much noise okay? Everyone comes here to read and they don’t like noises. You understand, right?”

The kids nodded enthusiastically before they scrambled off, tiptoeing to the end of the library where Junmyeon had set up for the children's section, complete with small desks and chairs, blankets and games.

There was a bit of pause, as the two adults looked at each other awkwardly.

"You're so kind, I never saw anyone speak that lovely to the children." Sehun started a conversation, indicating the children.

Junmyeon turned to Sehun, a flare of sudden annoyance flashed in him. "Why? Because they're orphans?" 

Sehun didn't flinch or look bothered, as if he’s used to it. He just gave a simple nod. 

"You know how it is in this town. They treat those children like rats. But you allow them to come here and seek shelter for the day."

Junmyeon pocketed the handkerchief after wiping his tears and walked to the counter. "It’s becoming cold nowadays, it’s better for them to be here than out there. It's not their fault they have to survive, they didn’t ask to live this way." He eyed the book Sehun was holding. "You finished that book already?" 

"That’s right," Sehun waved the book happily. "It's so interesting, I didn’t put it down the whole night. Guess I don't need a fortnight to finish the book.” Then he said, "My name is Sehun."

Junmyeon stood behind the counter, making sure there’s a distance between them. A barrier. “You can call me Junmyeon. And you can still return the book later,”

Sehun smiled, he looked almost relieved, and his eyes never left Junmyeon.

“But I want to see you.”

Surprised, Junmyeon looked up at him. Sehun was smiling brightly. 

Junmyeon wanted to cry. He wanted to bury his face into that chest. He wanted to tell Sehun he loved him once more. 

Instead, he cleared his throat and pretended to be busy behind the counter to hide his growing blush. "I'm here everyday." 

"Then, I will come again tomorrow." Sehun said, tipping his hat like a proper gentleman. 

It was raining the next day, but Sehun came again, as promised. 

Shaking his umbrella, Sehun's eyes roamed the room until he met Junmyeon. He grinned widely. 

"As promised," he said. 

Junmyeon scoffed. 

Apparently, Sehun’s an archiver at the government building three blocks from the library. 

“I've never seen you around,” Junmyeon confessed. He continued pushing the book cart around, and Sehun followed him close. 

“I moved here from the archive department in the next town,” Sehun said absent-mindedly, picking up a book and flipped the pages. “I saw you reading to the children sometimes, mind if I join in next time?”

“You want to hear me read to the kids?” Junmyeon flushed.

“Yes, I like listening to your voice.”

Junmeyon stopped the cart and turned around, raising an eyebrow at him. “You’re a bit of a flirt, aren’t you?”

Sehun burst laughing, but then immediately quieted when he realized he was still in the library. Thank goodness they were hidden from the others, standing side by side between two tall book shelves. “I enjoy talking with you.”

Junmyeon huffed, and accidentally inhaled a hairball that came out from the shelves. He sneezed softly and coughed— he really needed to do a deep clean of the library soon— and Sehun immediately flew to his side, looking pale and anxious.

“You okay? Take a rest, don’t push yourself.” He gripped Junmyeon’s hand.

Junmyeon waved him off, embarrassed. “I’m okay, it’s just the dust.” He chuckled. “I haven’t had the time to clean, that’s all.”

Sehun sighed in relief, but he still hadn't let go of Junmyeon’s hand, and his other hand was rubbing Junmyeon’s back gently. And Junmyeon was suddenly hyper aware of their closeness and the intimate gestures. 

Time seemed to stop in that moment; there’s just the two of them and nobody else, and Junmyeon wished that was true.

  
  


They met everyday after that.

In a short time, they became close. Junmyeon would stop by in front of Sehun’s apartment to pick him up, as they walked towards the library where they would part ways for work, before meeting again at lunch time as they spent their break at the library’s back room, or at the children’s section where Junmyeon would read to the kids, before Sehun went back to his work. In the evening, Sehun came by to fetch him after he closed the library, and they would spend time walking around the city and have evening tea, and Junmyeon was happy.

They were walking alongside the river at the outskirts of the city. The sun was setting, and the sky turned into pink and purple. 

“Let’s have dinner together,”

Junmyeon looked up; their shoulders brushed against each other lightly. “What’s the occasion?”

“Our first date.”

Junmyeon was pretty sure his cheeks were red. Yes, he had known Sehun for a long, long time. But no matter what century, or lifetime, Sehun would always manage to get him flustered over the smallest thing. And when he snuck a look at Sehun, the younger man was blushing madly as well. 

“How about this weekend?”

Junmyeon looked down to his shoes. “Yes, I will be delighted.”

“That’s good,” Sehun cleared his throat a couple of times. “I’ll pick you up at your apartment? We’ll go have dinner at the restaurant we saw a couple of blocks out south, then we’ll go for a night walk at the other side of the river, and maybe get a dessert at the cafe—”

He didn’t wait any longer. Junmyeon stopped on his track, turned around, and pulled Sehun down to give him a kiss on the mouth.

Sehun stumbled backwards; shocked, but quickly recovered as he hummed pleasantly against Junmyeon’s lips, his hands sneaking around Junmyeon's waist. Junmyeon felt like dreaming.

“I really like you,” Sehun whispered, his breath short as he pressed his lips to Junmyeon, again and again; little pecks that made Junmyeon shivered. “I really, really like you, Junmyeon.”

Junmyeon closed his eyes. "Just kiss me."

Please.

Please.

Please let me have this happiness.

For a little longer.

  
  
  
  


It was the next day as Sehun came to the library to pick him up as usual to walk home together. 

“I’m a bit overwhelmed today,” Junmyeon sighed, staring at the piles of books on his cart. “I'm closing the library tomorrow so I can't let this be, can you wait for a bit?”

Sehun smiled. “Of course, take your time.” Then he leaned down to give him a kiss on the cheek. He went behind the counter to sit at Junmyeon’s chair.

Junmyeon smiled and carried on his work.

The library was closed, but the children still loitered around as they happily followed Junmyeon, as the man tidied up the space, slowly pushing the cart and put the books back. They chattered endlessly, and Junmyeon lent them a kind ear as he finished his work.

It wasn’t long before suddenly, the entrance door burst open. A tall and buffy man, holding a rifle, huffed aggressively as he stomped inside. It startled Junmyeon and the kids. The man stalked towards them with a furious gaze. Junmyeon was shocked, but he managed to quickly hide the children behind the big book carts.

“You!” The man howled loudly, enough to echo in the small library. “Stop hiding those rats and hand them over!”

“I’m sorry, sire. But I will need to ask you to leave,” Junmyeon calmly said, balling his trembling fingers into a fist. “This is a public government property and you are not allowed to bring a weapon here.”

“I’ll get out once you hand over those filthy rats!” His eyes almost bulged in anger, as he tried to walk past him. But Junmyeon stood firm, arms spread wide. 

“Sir, for the last time, I would politely ask you to leave—”

“Do you know what those rats did??! They stole from my truck! All of my goods and meat! I lost a fortune because of them! Hand them over and let me teach them a lesson!”

Junmyeon glanced at the trembling children behind the cart. They stared at him with wide eyes and were shaking their heads— the small, terrified children with their dirty clothes and dirty faces and thin bodies. “Are you sure it’s them? They’re too small and weak to be able to steal such heavy things—”

“Who else could it be besides those rats! My staff said they saw those rats with their own two eyes! You're telling me my staff lied to me? Stop protecting them or I’ll make sure you regret it!” The man raised his rifle and pointed it at Junmyeon. It happened so fast— the man managed to fire a shot but the bullet barely missed Junmyeon because the man was knocked over when Sehun, who had sneaked quietly from behind, tackled the man to the ground. The bullet shot through the bookcase behind Junmyeon and the children shrieked in fear.

The man and Sehun rolled around on the floor— Sehun trying to take the rifle away from the man’s grasp. Junmyeon panicked. He quickly told the children to call the police and when the children had safely left the library, Junmyeon turned back and went in to help.

The two men on the floor were still struggling to get the upper hand; Sehun noticed Junmyeon approaching them and howled at him to get away.

“Go call the police! Don’t you dare come near!” Sehun roared with all his might, shocking Junmyeon to a standstill.

In a blink of an eye, a loud sound cracked the air; a dark red spread over the white shirt of Sehun’s chest.

Red.

Red.

Dark.

Black.

Sehun fell forward, eyes widened as he held a palm over his chest.

The buffed man scrambled away in fear, suddenly aware of what he had done. "Fuck."

It happened like a slow-motion. 

Sehun's eyes met Junmyeon.

A soft smile grazed his lips.

  
  


Thud.

Junmyeon’s scream broke the silence and it was deafening.

"Sehun! Sehun! Talk to me, sweetheart." Junmyeon fell to the floor beside Sehun's body, shaking his arms, tears rolling down his cheeks. This is not how it's supposed to happen. This is not—

He cried more, shouting as if Sehun could hear him. "Sehun! Open your eyes! Don't leave me! Sehun!" 

But Sehun wasn't breathing anymore. 

The bullet hit was fatal. 

A ringing sound shot through his ear. Then the world went silent. Police burst in through the door when they heard about the incident from the children, arresting the man who tried to get away. Junmyeon continued to cry over Sehun's body, even when some police officer pulled him aside. The paramedic quickly did a quick check on Sehun's pulse and inspected his injury, and regretfully announced his time of death. 

He lost Sehun. 

Again. 

  
  
  
  


_I blame myself for just watching_

  
  
  


It was around ninety years later, when Junmyeon was wandering the world aimlessly, that he met Minseok in a dim-lit bar in a city that never sleeps. The man with the pretty face and pretty eyes approached him and said the one thing that made them click right away.

“How long have you lived?”

Junmyeon didn’t have an answer. He could count the years he had to wait until he found Sehun, but he couldn’t recall how long he had lived. So he just said, “long enough.” 

Minseok had an easier answer; 1200 years, give and take a few years.

Their drinks arrived, and they sat at the bar counter.

Junmyeon had asked what he did during all those times. Minseok shrugged, saying how he’s just going with the flow, no meaningful reasons yet. He had a family before, but after he kept on living, he never saw any of them again. He also didn’t have any lover or someone important that he had to wait to be reincarnated, which confused Junmyeon even further.

“Have you met any other immortals before?”

Minseok nodded, ordering the fourth glass of shot of the night, and stared straight into Junmeyon’s eyes. “But for some reason, I don’t think you need to know them.”

Junmyeon frowned. “Why not?”

“Because they’re not the same as you.”

It was a puzzling statement.

“I bet you didn’t even know how you became immortal, isn’t it?”

Frowning, Junmyeon looked at him, but Minseok just smiled and didn’t elaborate, so Junmyeon had let it go, because his head was spinning and he couldn’t care less about other immortals or how he became one. His one and only aim was to find Sehun. And Minseok had happily decided that he would follow Junmyeon for a while, just for the heck of it. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s exactly 146 years later when Junmyeon found Sehun again.

  
  


And for the last 146 years, his dreams had been haunted by red nightmares.

“Is that him?”

Junmyeon nodded. He stood at the side of the wall, with Minseok curiously peeking from behind. They stared at the two boys waiting at the bus stop.

“What do you want to do now?”

Junmyeon leaned back. “Protect him.”

Minseok nodded, but his eyebrows crooked. “How?”

“... I don’t know yet.”

“... You want to protect him, but you don’t know how.”

“Yes,” Junmyeon said, stubbornly.

Minseok nodded, serious. Junmyeon had told him about his purpose; how he would be searching for his reincarnated lover and protect him from danger. Minseok had asked him why, because he had reasoned that all non-immortals would die someday sooner or later— it’s just the way it was. But Junmyeon had said something that made Minseok ponder and agreed.

“I want to at least see him old when he dies.”

It was one fine afternoon for Junmyeon and Minseok when they stumbled upon Sehun at the street. Junmyeon had been frozen in place, staring until the boy disappeared from his sight. Minseok had snapped him from his shock, asking him if he’s all right and if that boy was who Junmyeon was looking for. Junmyeon quickly took out a piece of a worn out but well kept photo and showed it to Minseok. This Sehun was much younger than the one in the picture, but it was definitely Sehun. The perfect eyebrows, the straight nose, the full lips, the broad shoulders— even his soul was him. But this Sehun was awkwardly lanky and stood at the same height as Junmyeon— but in all, it was Sehun. 

The love of Junmyeon’s life.

Since then, Minseok and Junmyeon rented a motel room not far from where Sehun’s house is. They would arrive by early morning, standing across the street, watching as Sehun would come down from the apartment at exactly seven-thirty am, with his school bag and school uniform hanging loosely over his thin body. His friend would come to meet him on their way to the school, and they chatted all the way. 

Junmyeon and Minseok didn’t enter the school ground, of course; but they sat in a cafe two blocks from the school until the last bell rung, and they followed Sehun around (sometimes the boy would be hanging out at the park, sometimes he stayed late at school for activities, or sometimes he and his friends would venture to the city) until the boy goes home.

“This is stalkerish,” Minseok said after two weeks.

Junmyeon’s cheeks went pink. “Well, I don’t know how else to protect him.”

“You’re not even gonna try talking to him?” Minseok looked at him. “Don’t you miss him?”

“And what would I say?” Junmyeon avoided looking back, and didn't want Minseok to see the sadness in his eyes. 

Minseok hummed, staring at his cooling coffee. “Do you know what kind of danger he would be in?”

A pause. Junmyeon didn’t know. It was different each time. The last two reincarnations before, it was the horse-carriage incident. And the previous one was— “No, I don’t.”

"Bummer," Minseok shrugged. "Why don't you just ask him?" 

Ask him? 

Ask Sehun? 

That's ridiculous, right? 

"I mean, it's easier than to just follow him around like this. It's a peaceful town, I can't imagine any danger coming this way."

Junmyeon frowned. "Well, we just had a war."

"But that ended almost sixty years ago," Minseok waved his hand off dismissively. "Thank goodness your beloved wasn't born during the war time, huh?" 

Indeed, Junmyeon was glad. He and Minseok had survived the war without getting involved, staying hidden and far from civilization. 

And it's true. The town was peaceful, with no red alerts, and teenage Sehun's life looked pretty normal so far. But— that’s the thing. All their previous lives had been normal. Until Sehun’s early deaths.

"Look, I think he’s going home," Minseok pointed out. Junmyeon turned just to see Sehun walking along the street with his friends. They talked for a while before they separated at a junction, and he walked alone towards the road to his home. Junmyeon paid for their coffee and both he and Minseok followed him from a safe distance. They were wrong though; teenage Sehun didn’t go home straight away, instead he spent his time at the park, a few blocks from his apartment complex, and just played with his phone and sat alone until the sun set. Only until then did he make his way back home.

Junmyeon’s heart clenched. He had to curl his hands into a fist and digged his nails into his palm to stop himself from going to Sehun.

I want to hug him. I want to talk to him. I want to see him. I want to see him.

I want to meet him.

  
  
  


“Your Sehun,” Minseok drawled, as he was watching television in their motel room that night. “He’s acting weird today, isn’t it?”

Junmyeon, who was sitting by the window, turned to him. “Weird how?”

Minseok kept his eyes on the action movie playing on the screen. “I don’t know. It feels like he was waiting for something— or someone.”

  
  
  
  


"Hi," 

It was the 27th day when Junmyeon was surprised out of his wit when a voice called him. He and Minseok had seen teenage Sehun passing by the cafe from the window, and Junmyeon had gone out first since Minseok wanted to get some takeaway sandwiches.

Junmyeon slowly turned around. Teenage Sehun was staring at him.

“How are you?”

Junmyeon didn’t know what to say. Seeing Sehun from a close proximity was overwhelming to him. Suddenly, all his longing came flooding his senses, and he had to grip his own arms to stop himself from lunging at the boy.

“I’m— I’m good.” Junmyeon replied, eyes glassy. 

Teenage Sehun smiled at him. Junmyeon had known that this Sehun was much younger than the Sehun he had met before, but it's more obvious now when they’re face-to-face; with his long hair and full cheeks, he looked very cute and pretty. He’s not as tall as the older Sehun, but he definitely reached Junmyeon’s height. It’s endearing. 

Junmyeon still loves him.

“That’s good,” Sehun said, he was bouncing on his heels— all excited like a puppy. “I'm Sehun. I’ve been looking forward to greeting you, but I was too scared. I wanted to surprise you, but I didn’t know it would actually work.”

The childish teasing— no matter in what lifetime, Sehun would always be the same; the same Sehun that Junmyeon had always loved.

“You wanted to greet me?”

“Yeah,” Sehun nodded. “I’ve been waiting for you to come and talk to me at the park; that’s why I sat there alone. But you never come. So I braved myself to talk to you instead.” His cheeks grew red. “I— I should have waited until we arrive at the park, but I couldn’t wait any longer so—”

Junmyeon wanted to cry. He clutched his hands into fists. “You— You know I’ve— we’ve been following you?”

“I’m sorry to say this, but your hiding skills sucks.” Sehun snickered, crossing his arms. 

Junmyeon knew that’s not true; he and Minseok had been hiding away from the enemy soldiers in the war for sixty-years sometime ago. 

“And you’re not scared of us?” Junmyeon asked.

Teenage Sehun shrugged. “Why should I be scared? You’re my guardian angel.”

Junmyeon closed his eyes briefly, wishing it was true. If he had to live forever, he hoped to be Sehun’s guardian angel.

“What do you mean by that?”

Another shrug. “I don’t know. Somehow, I feel calmer and a lot safer when you start showing up.”

The doorbell chimed, and Minseok came out of the cafe bearing a bag of sandwiches and two cups of coffee. “Sorry, I’m late— there’s a line—” and he stopped short, eyes wide as he took on the sight in front of him; Junmyeon and Sehun standing a few feet apart, looking at each other as if they were longing for each other.

It was Sehun who noticed him first. “Hi, we haven’t met,” Sehun grinned and extended a hand. “I’m Sehun.”

Minseok nodded slowly, taking the hand, and stared at him with a puzzled look. “I’m— I’m Minseok.” Then he turned to Junmyeon, asking for an explanation.

“He saw us. He knew we followed him.” Junmyeon said in a small voice.

“Ah,” Minseok glanced at Sehun. “You’re quite sharp, aren’t you?”

Sehun didn’t bother with an answer, just smiling and his eyes lingered on Junmyeon again. As if glad to see him. As if he had missed him. Junmyeon knew it was ridiculous. Sehun didn’t know he was reincarnated. It’s just Junmyeon’s feelings projected on Sehun.

Minseok gestured to his bag. “I’m sorry I don’t have coffee to offer you, but I guess you can take mine—”

“No, it’s okay. I don’t drink coffee. Can you treat me to one of the famous street chocolate drinks, though?” Sehun pouted and titled his head, acting cute. At that age, he was indeed cute.

Junmyeon obliged. They bought the chocolate drink for Sehun, and went to the park to have an impromptu picnic. They talked while enjoying the sandwiches, but it was mostly just Sehun chattering about his daily lives, his school, his friends, and the latest movies and music. He didn’t once ask anything about either Junmyeon or Minseok, except about how they met. Minseok replied they met at a bar.

“Well, I’ll leave you two to talk,” Minseok got up, smiling down at them while picking up his own coffee. “It’s nice to meet you, Sehun. Let’s talk soon, okay?”

“Yes, it’s nice to meet you too, Minseok-hyung! And thank you!” Sehun grinned, waving his hand.

Minseok assumed he was talking about the food, so he just grinned back, and turned to leave.

When Minseok left, there was a calm and sudden sadness blanketing the both of them. Junmyeon glanced and admired how the sun washed against Sehun’s feature; highlighting his tall nose, lips and cheekbones. He was perfect. In every lifetime, Sehun was perfect. Junmyeon was in love, and still is. 

It hurts.

“He seems like a nice guy,” Sehun muttered. “Minseok-hyung.”

Junmyeon nodded. “He is.”

Sehun turned and smiled at him. “I think I can trust him to take care of you, Junmyeon.” He said, with a hint of tease. Junmyeon gaped.

“We are not like that!”

Sehun laughed loudly, his head dropped to Junmyeon’s shoulder while clutching his stomach. “Your face— I didn’t mean it like that, but your face—” and he kept laughing. Junmyeon pushed him by the ribs— reluctantly— and huffed in fake annoyance.

The weight of Sehun’s head on his shoulder. The hair tickling his neck. The smell of baby powder.

Junmyeon closed his eyes, savoring the moment. 

They talked again, pointing out at the color of the sky, and tried to make out the shapes of the clouds. It was like nothing had changed— it felt like they had known each other all these time— and Junmyeon wanted to keep this moment forever. 

The sky turned dark. The street lights started to flicker up.

Junmyeon shivered from the night air. 

“You shouldn’t go out with such thin layers, you’ll get sick.” Sehun grabbed his own jacket and wrapped it around Junmyeon’s shoulders. His face contorted in worries.

“I don’t know it will be so cold at night; I usually stay in the motel after I make sure you’re home safe.” Junmyeon blushed at his confession.

Sehun didn’t seem surprised at all. He just looked extremely pleased.

“It’s really late,” Sehun said. “I have to get home, but I hope I can see you again tomorrow.”

“It has been fun,” Junmyeon smiled at Sehun, dusting off his pants as they stood from the grass. “I’ll see you tomorrow, thank you.” He handed the jacket back as they walked together from the park.

Sehun laughed again, took the jacket and slipped his hands deep into his pockets as he stared at Junmyeon with soft eyes. “I should be the one to thank you.”

  
  
  
  
  


It was the last time they ever saw teenage Sehun again.

  
  


Because the next day, when Junmyeon and Minseok went to wait for Sehun from across the street of his apartment, there were police cars and an ambulance and a crowd. Junmyeon felt all his blood drained from his face as he dashed towards the scene, pushing off the crowd of people while shouting Sehun’s name. Some people looked at him like he’s crazy, and Minseok followed suit while trying to calm Junmyeon.

He kept shouting at the police to let him see the boy, but they refused him as he was a stranger— and Junmyeon cried harder when he saw the paramedics come out of the building while holding a stretcher with a body covered in white sheet. Followed behind was a man in his forties, unkempt and in handcuffs, pushed by the police into the car.

“It’s you,”

Junmyeon and Minseok whipped their heads to the side, to see a tall boy with big eyes suddenly appear, reaching out and pulling Junmyeon’s arm. They both recognized the boy— he was Sehun’s friend; the one that always waited for Sehun under the apartment to walk to school with him.

Sehun.

Sehun.

Where is Sehun?

“What happened?? Tell me what happened to Sehun? Goddamnit!” Junmyeon clawed his way out of the boy’s grip, but the boy was surprisingly strong and much taller than Junmyeon, and was able to drag him out of the crowd and into an empty alleyway. 

“Aren’t you supposed to know!?” The tall boy spat, finally releasing his hold on Junmyeon. “He believed you were his guardian angel! But you couldn’t even protect him!”

Minseok soon arrived, and was quick to realize the boy was upset too. His cheeks were streaked with tears and his nose was red. It’s understandable. His own best friend has died. 

But Junmyeon was crying as well, and the boy suddenly looked guilty when he saw Junmyeon’s hand trembling uncontrollably.

“How— how am I supposed to know?? He— he was fine yesterday and we said we would see each other today—” Junmyeon whimpered as he collapsed on his knees. 

He failed. 

He’s constantly failed.

Minseok crouched down to rub Junmyeon’s back and turned to the boy.

“What happened?”

“It’s— It’s his father.” The boy sniffled. Fresh tears fell to his cheeks. “His father is an alcoholic— Sehun never felt safe inside that house, but nowadays he’s always happy ever since he said his guardian angel finally arrived.” The boy glanced at Junmyeon. “It seems his father didn’t like a happy son. They argued last night because he came home late. His father cursed and wanted to go out and find the ‘so-called guardian angel’ person and Sehun— Sehun stopped him; that’s what I heard from the neighbours, and— and now he’s dead.”

The boy choked and stared as Junmyeon kept wailing on his knees, with Minseok trying to hold him. He was inconsolable, screaming Sehun’s name as he tried to stand and go take a last look at him, but his shaking legs failed him. 

The echo in the alleyway was haunting and mournful.

  
  
  


_Slowly moving away and isolated_

_Now everyone has gone, I’m left alone_

  
  
  
  


Junmyeon was in a state of grief for 122 years, repeatedly blaming himself for failing to protect Sehun. But kind, kind Minseok stayed by his side, taking care of him. They moved away from the town and into a rural area where the people are mostly old and don’t ask too many questions.

He’s torturing himself. The grief, loneliness and despair was killing him; but it’s not enough. It’s never enough. He didn’t eat, but he couldn’t die out of hunger. He didn’t sleep, but he couldn’t die out of exhaustion. He wanted to drown himself, but he couldn’t die in the water. He tried lighting up fire, but he couldn’t burn. And after his thirtieth attempt, Minseok held him tight in his arms and pleaded not to do it anymore.

“Why,” Junmyeon sobbed into Minseok’s chest. His tears were drying. He was in so much pain it felt like dying would be much easier. But it’s much more painful when he _couldn’t even freaking die_. “Let me be, why can’t I die. I just want to follow him. Let me die, I want to die.”

Minseok held him through the night. 

_Time is going slow_

_I only have to rush it but there’s not much I can do_

  
  
  


In every stage of life, there will be a time for acceptance. 

Junmyeon got better. Not good, but better. He's eating again even though he could only stomach some nibbles and liquid. He started sleeping for at least three hours. He didn't look like he's at the brink of death anymore. 

It's inevitable to get better, when you have forever. 

"Why don't we get some air outside?" Minseok suggested, on one fine day. "I'm going out to help the farmers move their stocks. You can take a walk along the river. It's a beautiful day."

Junmyeon absent-mindedly nodded, and he slipped on his worn out shoes, and they walked slowly out on the street. When they reached the road where the market was, Minseok told him to rest at the riverbank, as he went to where the farmers were gathering. 

Slowly, Junmyeon walked along the grassy pathway, lost in his own thought, not knowing what to do; how to move on. He had no idea what would happen to him if Minseok hadn’t been by his side.

“Beautiful,”

Startled, Junmyeon turned towards the voice. He thought he was alone at the riverbank, but there was a man standing under a cherry tree, looking at him. 

Bright. 

Blinding.

Junmyeon blinked slowly. 

His breath caught. 

His hands started to tremble.

He felt like his heart started beating again.

Before he could realize what he was doing, Junmyeon was already running toward the figure, and threw his hands around the person’s shoulders. The man gasped, not expecting it, but immediately wrapped his own arms around Junmyeon’s body. Junmyeon cried to his heart's content, clutching at Sehun’s shirt, pulling Sehun deeper until he could feel it in his bones.

The world was white and grey. There was only silence. 

Now it's suddenly pink and purple and green and yellow and blue and Sehun's voice. 

For a while, they stayed like that, and Junmyeon cried and cried, loudly and wetly, until it slowed down and subsided into soft hiccups, and Sehun consoled him and smoothed over his hair. 

When he came back to his senses; Junmyeon pulled off, horrified, and suddenly remembered that Sehun didn’t even know or recognize him anymore.

“I’m— I’m so sorry! I wasn’t thinking! I usually don’t go around hugging or crying to strangers—”

Sehun just smiled easily, crickles marked over his eyes. His hair was short and brownish, and his clothes looked like it had seen better days. This Sehun was the same Sehun that Junmyeon had always known, but different at the same time. 

It’s the same feeling over and over again— how Junmyeon would feel happy and sad whenever he found Sehun, over and over again.

“I don’t mind, you do look like you need a hug,” Sehun squeezed his shoulders, before letting go and sat back. Junmyeon realized they were kneeling on the grass and he had stained his pants. “I’m Sehun, by the way.” he said. “And you are?”

“Jun— Junmyeon.”

“Junmyeon,” Sehun said, as if tasting how the name feels on his tongue. “I have never seen you around. Where do you live?”

Junmyeon stared at him, fidgeting and horrified as he wiped his snots and tears from his face with his sleeves. “At the outskirts, near the woods.” 

Sehun seemed surprised, but he took the chance to take out a clean handkerchief and gave it to Junmyeon. “I do know there’s a man living there for a few years now, but I never saw you before.”

Junmyeon completely lost his track of time when Minseok brought him there to be away from the big civilization for him to recover. He was the one who provided for both of them, going to work while taking care of Junmyeon while Junmyeon was left to mourn in the cabin. “Yes, that’s— he’s my brother. I’ve— I’ve been sick, that’s why we moved here from the city. He said the fresh air is good for my health.” Junmyeon lied easily. When you have lived for hundreds and hundreds of years, you have to lie your way out to make it through.

“Oh,” Sehun suddenly went pale, reaching out to hold Junmyeon’s wrist, inspecting his pulse. “How are you now? Are you okay? Do you feel sick anywhere?”

For some reason, this Sehun seemed like a worrywart too. Junmyeon chuckled and glowed under the touch. “I’m fine. I’m better now. The fresh air does wonder.”

Sehun sighed, then smiled back. “He must be a really good brother.”

Junmyeon had never been more grateful to know Minseok. “Yes, he is.”

When it became late, Junmyeon reluctantly walked away from the riverbank, as Sehun promised to wait there tomorrow. Junmyeon was afraid he wouldn’t make it on time, like before, and had begged Sehun to stay.

“Please don’t leave me,” Junmyeon had said, gripping on Sehun’s hands. He must have looked and sounded crazy, begging pathetically to a stranger (at least that’s what he was to the current Sehun), but he couldn’t help it. His eyes glassy as he pleaded repeatedly. “Please don’t go.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Sehun had cupped his cheeks and stroked the soft skin under his thumbs. “I will be here for you. Always.”

Minseok met him halfway on the market road. “How was your day?” Minseok asked, smiling. He had looked tired and worn out, and Junmyeon quickly went to aid him. 

“I— I met someone.” Junmyeon confessed.

Minseok had looked at him in shock. “You don’t mean—”

Junmyeon nodded. “I met Sehun. At the riverbank.”

It took a full minute for Minseok to register what Junmyeon meant. “That's— surprising. We've been here for years but I never run into him." Minseok muttered. "Did he— remembers you or anything…?”

“No,” Junmyeon shook his head, as they walked slowly towards their cabin. “He never did. He introduced himself each time, and it’s always with the name 'Sehun'. I'm the only one who remembers him.”

Minseok was quiet for a while. “You two are very special, you know?”

Some people might think that— being able to meet your lover’s incarnation again and again was something that is not common, apparently. Even among the immortals. But Junmyeon didn’t think of himself and Sehun as special. If they were, then they wouldn't have to go through grief upon grief. 

The next day, as promised, Junmyeon went to meet Sehun at the riverbank, and almost cried in relief when he saw Sehun standing under the same cherry tree, tall and gorgeous. When he walked nearer, Sehun opened his arms. 

Junmyeon stared at him. 

"Oh, you're not going to jump and hug me like yesterday?" 

Junmyeon blushed as Sehun chuckled at him. "Shut up."

As they walked through the grass path, Sehun insisted that they should get to know each other better, and insisted that Junmyeon introduced Sehun to Minseok. He said that he himself was an orphan, with his father and mother died when he was young and he had lived alone ever since. In the evening, after Minseok was done with work, they came to fetch him, and Minseok gazed at the man in astonishment and wonder when Sehun introduced himself. 

"You're Sehun?" Minseok asked, glancing at the side where Junmyeon was fidgeting. "It's a surprise that we never run into each other before."

"Same here," Sehun said. "I've heard about you when you first moved into the village, but I never got a chance to say hi. I regret it with my whole being." He also glanced at his side where Junmyeon was standing. 

Minseok nodded, reaching out to pat Sehun's shoulder. “You’re a good man, Sehun.”

Sehun blushed at the praise and thanked him. 

A week later, Sehun, who had been living alone near the fields at the feet of the mountain, suddenly found himself homeless. The landslide caused by the heavy rain the night before had destroyed his home. The villagers, including Minseok and Junmyeon, gathered to help him retrieve any of his possessions that survived the disaster. It was a miracle at all that he wasn't at home at that time, as he was having dinner with both Minseok and Junmyeon at their cabin, and had been stuck there the whole night because of the storm. 

Junmyeon's legs turned weak when he heard that, realizing that he almost lost Sehun _again_ , and Minseok had held him up, face kind and understanding. 

"Sehun," Minseok had called him. "Come live with us." 

Sehun was reluctant, but Minseok insisted, and he finally agreed. They brought all the things they managed to rescue from Sehun's home and put them to good use around the mostly empty cabin. He stayed in Junmyeon’s room since the cabin only had two rooms, and helped do the chores around the house. 

Every morning he would be seen chopping wood outside the cabin and stocking up hay for the winter, while Minseok and Junmyeon make simple breakfast for all of them. Minseok smiled in relief when he noticed Junmyeon’s growing appetite. Around midday, Sehun and Junmyeon would bring any dirty clothes they had to the river to do laundry, while washing up themselves, as Minseok stayed behind to clean the cabin and cook dinner. 

Sehun made money by doing grunt work around the village, and sometimes he would follow Minseok to help with the farmer’s stocks. The villagers were mostly old people, so when they had both Sehun and Minseok helping them, they were extremely happy and always gave them lots of produce to bring home.

Junmyeon usually spent most of his time accompanying them, sitting at the side under the shade of trees or roof, waiting for them to finish. He did offer his help countless times, but Sehun had denied strongly and said he didn’t want Junmyeon to get sick again. Minseok had raised an eyebrow when he heard that, but Junmyeon pulled him over and whispered that he lied about him being sick as a way to explain to Sehun why he was never seen when they moved into the village; back when they first met. Minseok had chuckled and agreed, and told him to just obliged to Sehun’s request. 

It was three months after living together, while washing up at their usual spot at the river, that Sehun took the chance and kissed Junmyeon wetly on the lips.

Junmyeon kissed him back. Hungrily. Desperately. 

Sehun peeled off his wet clothes, and Junmyeon chased his lips. They both groaned when they saw each other, hands roaming over their heated skin. 

"I've missed you," Sehun whispered against Junmyeon's lips, equally desperate. Junmyeon glanced at Sehun's eyes, a tiny question in his mind, but immediately got distracted when Sehun tugged on his waist so they could feel each other's hardness. "Can I?" 

Junmyeon nodded once, and they kissed again, as Sehun wrapped his arms around Junmyeon and moved them to the grass clearing, surrounded by tall bushes, under a shady tree.

  
  


They lived together happily. 

Junmyeon's and Sehun’s relationship became closer and more intimate as time passed by. They went everywhere together and spent so much time together, that the villagers already acknowledged them as an item. And one day, Sehun presented him with a bronze band when they were walking along the riverbank where they first met in that lifetime.

When Sehun slipped the band on his finger, Junmyeon felt guilt rushing over him. It’s good that Sehun would stay close to him, so Junmyeon could protect him. But he won’t get old, and he couldn’t die. Where will this lead to?

"You don't need to give me an answer right away." Sehun said, tucking a stray hair behind Junmyeon's ear. "But, I love you."

Junmyeon stared at the band, his throat choked up, and he wrapped his arms around Sehun's shoulders, pulling him close. "I love you too," he whispered faintly. Finally, finally he could say that sentence again. "But I don't know if getting married will make you happy."

Sehun rubbed his back. "It's okay if you don't want to. I'm happy as long as we're together. This is a promise." He said, as he pressed his lips to Junmyeon's head. "It's my promise that I will never leave you."

  
  


“I’m so stupid.” Junmyeon said to Minseok that night, as they both sat on the dining table. They just finished cleaning up after dinner. It was dark in the cabin except for the light coming from a single candle. It was still early but Sehun was already snoring on Junmyeon— _their_ bed. “I went and made him fall for me. I’m a horrible person. I’m supposed to protect him, but now I’m leading him to his downfall.”

“Shh, don’t say that,” Minseok frowned. “It’s inevitable. You two— he would have fallen for you sooner or later anyway. But now, it’s easier to protect him, right? And I have never seen you look so happy.”

Junmyeon twirled the band around his ring finger. “But he wants me to marry him, Minseok. He wants us to be together. I can’t do that. I can’t get old, and I can’t die. I can’t live happily ever after with him. That’s impossible.”

Minseok went silent, then he spoke carefully. “Have you ever… considered telling him the truth?”

Junmyeon snorted. “And say what? That I’m an immortal and I have been meeting his reincarnations lifetime after lifetime? As if he would believe that. He might think I’m crazy and run away.”

“He loves you, Junmyeon.” Minseok couldn’t help but smile amusedly at his dramatic friend. “He won’t leave you just like that. He might be shocked, but he will never leave you.” Minseok glanced at the direction of Junmyeon and Sehun’s room. “Trust me, I know.”

Minseok sometimes gets like this— all mysterious and cryptic. Junmyeon was used to it, but he was growing curious. Maybe the fulfilling life for the past year has made him more open.

“You should take this chance you have to be with him. You have a lot of time left in this world, but he doesn't. Let Sehun love you to his heart’s content. Live happily with him, and see him grow old. Isn't that your wish?”

Junmyeon just didn't know what to say. Half of what Minseok said was right. And half of it—

“Ah, that’s not exactly what I want to talk to you about,” Minseok cut in and turned back his attention to Junmyeon. “I want to tell you first— I’m moving away.”

Junmyeon blinked owlishly at him. “Excuse me?”

“Not— moving away. I’m going away.” He smiled gently. “Watching you and Sehun, it made me realize that I might have my own purpose for being like—” Minseok gestured to his body. “This. Immortal. Actually, I have no idea how I became one. There must be a reason, but I have forgotten it. Or not aware of it. And I want to search for that reason. And for that— I need to leave and be on my own.” He reached out to hold Junmyeon’s hand. “I’m sorry, Junmyeon. I know what I’m asking is a lot. I really, really do like you. You’re like a brother I never had—”

Shaking his head, Junmyeon stopped him by pulling him into a hug. “Don't say that! Of course you should go and do what you like. I’m the one who should be sorry— for troubling you with my problems all the time. Gosh, you even took care of me when I was at my lowest moment, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Minseok snickered, turning his head into Junmyeon’s hair. “And I would do it all over again,” He pulled away to thumb away the tear rolling on Junmyeon’s cheek. “I am so glad I am able to meet you, Junmyeon.”

He was such a crybaby, but he didn't care at the moment. Minseok has been his constant for the past couple (hundreds) of years. He can't be selfish anymore. Minseok needed to do his own thing.

"Before I forgot," Minseok pulled back and slipped something out of his pocket. "Here, take this back. I kept this for you. You said you wanted to burn it back then, but I managed to save it." It was the old photo of Sehun that Junmyeon had carried around with him for a long time. Junmyeon smiled at him. 

"Thank you, Minseok."

That night, they stayed awake and talked about everything. From the moment they met at the bar, to how they explore and travel to different parts of the world. How they saw the aurora from their hike on the north mountain. How they've re-visited some of the historical landmarks, and reminisced how they were there to witness the first builts. How the civilization changed as they tried to adapt. How they survived the wars, relying and supporting each other. They talked until they fell asleep on the table. 

Sehun came wandering into the room at dawn, titling his head questioningly as he shook their shoulders to wake them up. They washed up and had breakfast together while Minseok told Sehun he was leaving, and planned to go to the city, and maybe across the border. 

“Is it because of me?” Sehun asked nervously. “I promise, I’m not taking away Junmyeon from his— brother—”

Minseok laughed, slapping Sehun’s back. “No, you silly man! It’s the total opposite. I have always liked being in the city. And I did move here because of Junmyeon,” He took Junmyeon’s hand, gently squeezing it. “But now that I know he’s well taken care of by a man I trust, I can go with an easy heart.”

Junmyeon and Sehun looked at each other.

“Now, of course I won’t leave until after the wedding—”

Sehun coughed into his fist, feeling embarrassed. “Well, technically there is no wedding yet. Junmyeon hasn’t give me an answer—”

Minseok let out a shocked gasp, and was ready to reprimand Junmyeon, but Junmyeon, with pink cheeks, held him back.

“The wedding will be in a week’s time. So you will have time to pack, Minseok.” He said while glancing at Sehun anxiously. “Of course, only if you still want to get married—”

Sehun’s face lit up immediately, and he rushed over to kiss Junmyeon, holding him gently, much to Minseok’s delight.

It was a small wedding, attended by the villagers who were happy for them, held in the backyard of their own cabin. They dressed in their best clothes, and the food was prepared specially by the owner of a small restaurant whose Minseok befriended. Fresh flowers decorated around the windows and gates to brighten up the venue. At night, they lit up sparkles and set up small fireworks for the celebration. 

Three days later, Minseok was ready to depart. They promised to keep in touch, but Junmyeon knew it would be almost impossible. For immortals like them, time is a luxury, that they don't feel it passed by. They could lose a couple of years without noticing it. And they never stay still at one place for too long, fearing that someone would notice how their appearance never change. 

"Thank you, Minseok." Sehun whispered when they hugged each other goodbye. "Thank you for taking care of him."

Minseok smiled and patted Sehun's back. 

Sehun and Junmyeon continued living in the cabin as a married couple. 

Married, happy, and in love. 

"The day I saw you at the riverbank and called you beautiful was the happiest day of my life," Sehun sighed, staring up at Junmyeon from where he had his head laid on Junmyeon's lap.

"And I thought that our wedding is the happiest day of your life," Junmyeon teased, looking down to look at Sehun and booped his nose. Sehun chuckled. They were both sitting on the bench outside the porch of the cabin, enjoying the evening air. 

"No, that is my _luckiest_ day, because you agree to marry me. My happiest day is definitely the day I found you at the riverbank." Sehun said, a gentle smile passed him as he cradled Junmyeon's cheek. "You looked so beautiful even with snots on your nose. And I got a free hug as well. We didn't even know each other at that time."

Junmyeon blushed at the memory. "Shut up!" 

Sehun sat up laughing when Junmyeon landed a playful punch on him. "As long as you don't go and hug any other stranger, it's fine with me."

"Now why would I do that," Junmyeon smiled seductively, as he turned to climb on Sehun's lap. Sehun gripped Junmyeon's hips and gazed at him with adoration. "When I got you?" 

Their lips met, and they kissed each other slowly, lazily. 

They led a simple life in the village. They got a small land for their own little farm, and got a strong and handsome horse. Once a month, they would go into the city to buy necessities and enjoy a day out, and Sehun would fuss every time they come back, afraid that the polluted city air would affect Junmyeon's health. While Junmyeon, he would still continue to follow and watch over whenever Sehun went to work, worried if any incidents could happen to him. 

"Oh, it's the lovebirds who were joined by the hips," sometimes the old man that Sehun usually helped, who was also their closest neighbour, would tease them out loud when he saw Sehun and Junmyeon together, shaking his head with a hidden grin. The old man's wife would reprimand him, saying how they're such nice kids. And Sehun and Junmyeon would just smile at them. 

"Are you bothered by what they said about us joined at the hips?" Junmyeon asked one night, when they're both in bed.

Sehun turned to him, then opened his arms. Junmyeon scooted to cuddle closer. "No, not at all. Are you?" 

Junmyeon shook his head. "No, but I'm just worried if _you_ are bothered by it." He muttered. "I can stay low and not follow you much if you are though, I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"I will be even more uncomfortable if you're not. I feel much calmer having you around. Whenever I get tired, I just have to turn to see your face and I am fill with energy again." Sehun said, grinning as he kissed Junmyeon's cheek, blowing raspberry into the skin.

Junmyeon giggled, squirming to get away. "Okay, okay, I got it, now stop it, that tickles!" 

Junmyeon almost couldn't believe the happiness he was feeling. Sehun was wonderful and beautiful as always. His constant cheerfulness and caring nature made Junmyeon fall more and more in love with him each day. Ever since he avoided the landslide incident, Junmyeon became more positive, and thought he might be able to save Sehun in this lifetime after all. 

Especially when they were approaching their ten years anniversary, and Sehun was safe and sound, and they were still very much in love with each other. 

"Ten years, huh." The wife of the neighbour pondered as she took out the pot of pie from the cooling rack and carefully wrapped them up in a basket. "How time flies. And you don't look a day old since we've met you. I guess that's what you get when you have a happy marriage life." She teased Junmyeon, while the man was waiting in the kitchen. Junmyeon had asked for the old man's wife to help bake Sehun's favorite apple pie as their ten years anniversary gift. 

"You don't look a day old too since I met you, ma'am." Junmyeon snickered.

She tucked the napkin neatly. "Where is Sehun, by the way? It's rare not to see you with him."

"He's fixing the community hall's roof and told me to go home first because it looks like it's going to rain. Which is perfect since now I can surprise him." Junmyeon took the basket. "Thank you very much, Sehun will love this! How can I ever repay you?" Junmyeon exclaimed, admiring the beautiful pie. 

She waved her hand off. "It's nothing. Just come by and chat with me over a cup of tea and bring some of your fresh pumpkin. We can make a pumpkin pie next time."

Junmyeon laughed. "I would be happy to," he said. 

  
  


When he arrived home with the basket of pie, he stopped by their garden to pick up some flowers. It would be a bit of time before Sehun would come back from the community hall, so he decided to clean up and brighten up their home to celebrate their anniversary. He opened the door and slipped off his coat before going to the cabinet to search for a vase.

There’s a creak on the floor board, and Junmyeon’s ear immediately picked up the strange noise; aware that he should be the only one in the cabin. 

“Sehun…?”

Before Junmyeon could turn around, he was shoved to the cabinet, and his head hit the hard wood door, the metal handle leaving a deep gash on his forehead. Junmyeon saw stars and his head throbbed painfully, and a hand yanked his hair with a brut force. Junmyeon yelped, his hands grabbed the back of his head; his scalp burned from the hair pulling. He screamed and struggled as the hand dragged him by the hair towards the middle of the room. Junmyeon twisted and turned, pulling over the tablecloth and anything he could reach; trying to look and punch the attacker. He caught a glimpse of a tall man with black cloth tied around his face. 

Junmyeon screamed at the attacker to let him go, and the attacker punched him and threw him to the table. Junmyeon’s ribs hit the edge of the table and he hissed at the sharp pain. He could feel his gash healing and closing, but the pain was inevitable.

He looked at his attacker, and slightly wondered who the hell was that man. He knew his scream wouldn't alert anyone, seeing their cabin was far away even from the closest neighbors. 

Junmyeon couldn't let the man be there any longer. Sehun would be back anytime soon and he didn't want the man to be a danger to Sehun. It seemed that the attacker's target was him. He needed to get rid of the man fast. 

The man was bigger and taller than him, and Junmyeon knew he wouldn't stand a chance fighting with strength alone. There's a cleaver inside the small hut beside the cabin. He needed to get that. 

He didn’t waste time to find out what the attacker wanted from him; he immediately climbed to his feet and dashed towards the open door. But before he could make it out, the man threw a chair to cut his way and the same, rough hand reached and took a fist full of his hair again and dragged him to the kitchen where he grabbed a kitchen knife, ignoring Junmyeon's holler and kicking feet. 

Junmyeon’s eyes went wide when the man turned with the knife in hand. 

“Who are you!? What do you want from me??”

The man just sneered. "Don't blame me. Blame the old lady who told me about you." He threw Junmyeon to the floor, sat on him and curled his hand around Junmyeon’s neck to choke him, while Junmyeon clawed sharply at the hands, enough to draw blood. The attacker aimed the knife at his heart, and held it high. Junmyeon couldn’t think or breathe. 

Then suddenly the man was knocked from behind; the knife fell to the floor and Junmyeon was finally able to inhale air into his lungs. He coughed and dry-heaved as Sehun rushed over to kneel at his side, holding Junmyeon's shoulders. 

“Junmyeon? Junmyeon? Are you okay? Can you breathe?” 

Junmyeon grasped Sehun’s hand, coughing. “I’m— I’m fine,” He gasped, head dizzy from the lack of air. He could faintly feel Sehun tracing a finger over his gash that has stopped bleeding, and his eyes cast down to the bruises forming around his neck. 

Sehun looked absolutely angry; his teeth clenched as his body shook from distress. Junmyeon immediately wanted to comfort him.

“Hey, hey, look at me." Junmyeon took Sehun's face in his palms, meeting his eyes. "I’m okay. Let’s get out of here and find some help.”

Sehun swallowed and nodded, glaring dangerously at the man lying not far from them. “Who is he? A thief?”

Junmyeon shook his head. 

_"Don't blame me. Blame the old lady who told me about you_."

What does that mean? What old lady? “I don’t know. Let’s just get out of here, Sehun. It's dangerous.”

Sehun picked Junmyeon up to his feet, and they made their way to the door by stepping over all the knocked out items and furniture. The basket of pie was destroyed, and the _purple hyacinth—_ Sehun's favorite flowers that he picked earlier, were in shreds. Junmyeon glanced at them pitifully. But suddenly there’s a noise from their back, and Junmyeon paled. He turned around to see the man had stood up, holding the back of his head.

“I will kill you. I kill you and take your heart and I will live _forever_.” The man grunted with malice, his eyes burning as he stared at Junmyeon.

Junmyeon was shocked. _Live forever?_

_How did the man know that Junmyeon—_

The next thing he knew, Sehun had shoved Junmyeon out of the door, and lunged at the man with a fury that Junmyeon had never seen before. Sehun let out an enraged outcry and beat up the man with his fists. The man stumbled off, his lips bloody from the punch, but was fast to grab the knife on the floor, and sliced through the air so Sehun couldn’t get near him. But Sehun kept charging and dodged, trying to take away the weapon.

Junmyeon was out, but he couldn't leave Sehun with that dangerous man, and scrambled to his feet with a pounding heart. He thought about the cleaver in the hut but it seems too far now. He looked around and found a hammer in the toolbox by the door. It must have fallen when Sehun came back earlier and found the house in a mess. Junmyeon picked it up with the intention to knock the man out again.

The man was bigger and taller than Sehun, and even with Sehun’s hit and punches, he still managed to get up and attack; and with a loud howl, drove the knife straight into Sehun’s stomach. 

Junmyeon stopped on his track, feeling his body went cold. The hammer he was holding clattered to the floor.

The familiar ringing sound passed by him, and the world was suddenly silent.

Sehun staggered backwards by the impact. Holding his bleeding wound with one hand, he used the last of his strength and body weight to push the man down to the ground and took the chance to grab the knife before slicing the man’s throat. 

Gurgling and choking, the man convulsed on the floor for a few minutes, before his body finally stopped moving and he laid there in a pool of blood. 

Junmyeon stared at the scene, motionless.

Catching his breath, Sehun turned around, with blood smeared across his face, his hands, and dripping from his stomach.

“Junmyeon,” he called out, softly. Coaxing. As if afraid that Junmyeon would get spooked if he speaks louder. “Are you okay, love?”

_Love_.

Trembling, Junmyeon stood rooted at the threshold of the door, not able to say anything. He couldn’t hear anything but Sehun’s voice and the blood rushing through his veins. 

Sehun’s eyes flickered to Junmyeon’s forehead where the gash was supposed to be. There’s nothing but clean skin now. Then he glanced at the neck. The bruises were fading at an abnormal speed.

He smiled gently.

Relief. 

Grateful. 

Calm.

“It's okay, love. You’re safe now.”

  
  


Junmyeon’s head was spinning, mouth dry. When he tried to say something, Sehun fell to his knees and collapsed to the floor. The sound Sehun made when he hit the floor snapped something in Junmyeon’s conscience.

"No no no no no no no, this isn't happening," Junmyeon quickly ran towards Sehun, picking him up and feeling his pulse with trembling hands. 

“Sehun, Sehun, hang in there," Junmyeon pleaded, pushing Sehun's hair from his forehead. But Sehun's eyes were closed. He checked for breathing, and he found nothing. "I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please let me make it up to you,” he muttered repeatedly, and he started crying uncontrollably. He looked at Sehun’s bloody but peaceful face, gently patting his cheek. “Sehun, please open your eyes. I’m sorry. Please, I'm begging you. Please don't leave me. This is all my fault, please—” Junmyeon cried harder, burying his face into the crook of Sehun’s neck. The skin felt eerily cold and still.

He failed. 

Again. 

“— please forgive me.”

  
  
  


_I’m trapped, swallowed by the familiar loneliness_ _  
_ _Happiness is like a weak flower at the edge of a cliff_

  
  
  
  


Junmyeon didn’t know where he was. 

Junmyeon didn’t know what he was doing. 

Junmyeon didn’t know what he was feeling. 

How long has he been walking? How long has he haven't slept? When was the last time he ate? When was the last time he spoke? Or hear? Or see?

Or breathe? 

What year was it? How many times has passed? Will this go on forever? And forever? Beyond time? 

Junmyeon didn’t think he could do this anymore. 

Crumpling a piece of old photo in his hand, he swayed and hit his body hard against the wall. He didn't feel the pain. 

He slid down to the dirty and smelly floor, closing his eyes. 

  
  
  
  


_Wandering around with no plans, there’s no place to rest_  
_How long will I be waiting at the end of this darkness_

_Or will someone hold my wounded hands?_

  
  
  
  


Long, long, long, long time ago;

Sehun wandered into the forest, feeling the fog slipped into his being, chilling him right to the bone. It was a long journey of two days and one night trudging the tall grass and large trees into the unknown. 

But he would take the chance. 

Slowly, yet carefully, his eyes became accustomed by the dark. He didn’t know which way he was heading, but he knew where he was going. It didn’t make sense. The road he's walking was only visible by the help of the full moon. 

And suddenly, the fog cleared up, and a small cottage appeared in his sight. Sehun swallowed thickly, determined but nervous, and stepped into the porch, and tapped on the wooden door.

The door opened with a creak, and he was greeted with more darkness. Sehun walked inside, not sure whether it was a trap or glory, and the door swung closed.

“Come in, and have some warm tea. You must have been tired from the long journey.”

Sehun jumped. He turned and saw an old lady sitting by the fireplace, knitting. She smiled gently at him as she gestured to an empty armchair in front of her, and a tea set on a small table. She seemed nice, but Sehun knew what she was capable of, so he slowly followed her instruction and sat.

“Pour yourself a cup of tea, dear. I swear it’s not poison.”

Sehun didn’t even think about poison, but now his hair rose in alarm. “Thank you for your hospitality, but I’m here on an urgent business—”

“I know what you want,” the old lady smiled and set aside her knitting tools. “I have only one gift, and people from all over the realm sought me for that gift. Now tell me dear, why do you want to live forever?”

Sehun clasped his hands in front of his lap, feeling humbled. “It’s not me, ma’am. It’s my lover.” Sehun’s voice trembled slightly. “He’s young, but he's sick, and on the brink of death. Nothing could heal him. The doctors have given up on him. Witches said he didn’t have any time left. I have tried many ways, and I couldn’t heal him.” Sehun stood from the armchair, and kneeled on the carpet. “This is my last choice. I beg of you, please save him. I can’t lose him like this.”

The old lady stared at him. “What is your lover’s name, my dear?”

“Junmyeon. His name is Junmyeon.”

The lady sighed, reaching out to touch Sehun’s hair. “That boy,” she said. “He will have a hard time, even in another life.”

Shocked from the word, Sehun looked up at her. “What do you mean, ma’am?”

“No matter in what lifetime, that boy is destined to leave this world at an early age. Whether from sickness, or accidents, or natural causes, he wouldn’t survive any of it. That’s just his destiny.”

Tears started falling from Sehun’s eyelashes, down to his cheeks, and fell onto the carpet. His heart felt like at the bottom of a pit. “What— what should I do? Please tell me, I will do anything, I don’t want to lose him. Please help me—”

The light from the fireplace flickered, and the red reflected in the old lady’s gazes. “To save a life, another life has to suffer. My gift is to bestow immortality to those who seek it, with a price of another life. If you want to save your beloved’s life, immortality would save him. But you need to pay me with the soul of another person, are you ready for that?”

Sehun nodded immediately, no hesitation. “Yes, yes, I’m ready.”

The old lady sighed, shaking her head. “Very well. Now, whose life would you want to trade? Your mother? Your father? Or your friend?” She thought for a while. "Or an enemy, perhaps?" 

“I will trade my life.”

The old lady stared at him, and the fire flickered dangerously, brightening up the whole room. 

“Are you sure, dear?” She asked in wonderment. “This is a high price to pay. If you choose your enemy to pay the price, they would take your beloved's place and die in his stead, and that's the end of it. It's different when the one who wish for it is the one who pay the price. Not only will you take over his place, you will also die in his place. Over and over, you won’t live long enough. Just like how he would die from sickness, you soon would die from sickness. The worst thing is; you won’t be able to forget him. All your lifetime, you will know him as the man you loved and who you gave your life for, but he will keep on living.”

Sehun thought about Junmyeon, back home, lying in bed, motionless, pale, hardly breathing. He had been that way since Sehun found him unconscious in the kitchen a year ago. Junmyeon became so sick he couldn't even move a finger or a toe. Sehun had exhausted all ways in order to restore his health, from traditional to science to magic and praying, and Junmyeon just got worse and worse. Until one day, a travelling merchant from the east who had seen Junmyeon's condition, sighed and said the truth; that no one had survive the sickness. In Sehun's moment of despair and lost hope, the merchant stepped closer and whispered of a witch of immortality. 

Sehun’s smile was pure happiness, relief flooded his whole being. “Yes, if this would make him well again, I don't mind giving my life.” Sehun took the old lady’s hand. “Please, ma’am. Please let my soul be worth your price for my beloved’s immortality. He had suffered enough. I just want him to live well. Please, grant me my one and only wish.”

The old lady patted his hand. “You love the boy, aren’t you?”

“So much, ma’am. With all of my heart, my being, my soul. He’s my reason to live, and my reason to die. I need nothing but him. If in all my lifetime I could always remember and love him, then I am the luckiest man in the world.”

Smiling, she reached and held Sehun’s cheeks. “You silly boy with your pure heart. Now go, your beloved is waiting for you.” And with a surprising strength, she held Sehun’s shoulders and pushed him towards the big fireplace. Sehun shrieked in surprise, closing his eyes and braced himself for the heat and burn, but he felt nothing. After a while, he opened his eyes slowly, and blinked at his surroundings.

He was lying on the ground in front of his own home.

Scrambling to his feet, Sehun ran towards the door and pushed it open, climbing the stairs two steps at a time. A doctor was just walking out of the bedroom when he caught Sehun. 

"Sehun, I'm just about to call for you. Junmyeon is—" 

Sehun felt his body went cold. He quickly opened the door to the bedroom with a pounding heart.

“Slow down, darling. Where's the fire,” a soft voice called out to him.

Junmyeon was sitting on the bed. Junmyeon who had been sick for the last year, lying down on the bed and had to summon all his strength to even lift a finger, now sitting on the bed on his own, with pink cheeks and a warm smile. Sehun let out a sob, and ran to the bed and gathered Junmyeon into his arms, burying his face into the neck.

The doctor slowly closed the door to let them have some privacy. 

Junmyeon chuckled. “What’s wrong? Sehun? Are you okay, darling?”

“I’m— I’m great.” Sehun sobbed; he didn't care that his tears were leaving a damp on Junmyeon’s shirt. “I’m amazing— I should be asking you that though? How are you feeling, love?”

“I’m actually feeling perfectly fine,” Junmyeon laughed. “The doctor said it’s a miracle. I’m not sick anymore. See, I can even sit on my own.”

Sehun laughed too, kissing his cheeks, then his temple. He kissed every skin on Junmyeon that he could reach. He felt eternally grateful that the skin was warm under his lips. “I’m so glad to see you, love. I’m so happy. You have no idea how happy I am now—”

Junmyeon wrapped his thin arms around Sehun’s waist, turning his head to bury his nose into Sehun’s hair. “I’m happy to see you too, darling.”

Sehun almost couldn’t believe it. Junmyeon was alive. And well. His wish came true. Then he thought back on what the old lady said. His soul and his life. The price in exchange for Junmyeon's life.

He shivered. 

Junmyeon felt it immediately. "Are you okay?" 

"Yes, yes, I'm good." He smiled down at Junmyeon and pressed another kiss to his forehead. "I love you."

Sehun wanted to treat that as a bad dream— but he knew it was real. He had seen how Junmyeon was dying by the bed, counting days. An opposite of this Junmyeon who almost looks like he’s ready to run around chasing horses.

His life would be traded with Junmyeon's life. 

And Sehun had no regret.

He whispered a faint "thank you" to the old witch as he embraced Junmyeon, enjoying the warmth of his body. 

  
  


They both lived a happy and fulfilling life together for five, blissful years; until the day he collapsed in the garden while tending to their fruit trees. After further diagnose, the doctor confirmed that Sehun has the same sickness that fell upon Junmyeon five years ago, and like before, the doctors couldn't save him— even expressed that Junmyeon's survival was indeed a shocking miracle. Sehun had just smiled all the way through the doctor's explanation, telling the crying Junmyeon to stay strong and believe in him.

"You have to promise; don't leave me," Junmyeon whispered with tear streaks on his cheeks, holding on Sehun's hand. "I will do everything to make you better. I survived, you can too." 

Sehun blinked at him slowly, hardly breathing as he gathered all his strength to curled his fingers around Junmyeon's smaller ones. "I will never leave you, I promise."

After three months, Sehun died on a warm, summer evening, with Junmyeon by his side. 

Junmyeon was in distraught, and he mourned for a couple of sorrowful and lonely years. It took him while to realize that Sehun wouldn't like him to sit around mourning and feeling sorry for himself. He decided to continue living his life, accompanied by all his happy memories that he shared with Sehun. 

  
  
  


_I know your sore wounds_ _  
_ _I’m your fortress_

  
  
  


After thirty years, Junmyeon realized— horrified— that he didn't look a day older than when he was twenty-five. 

Neighbours started to whisper dangerous things, and some people who often see him at the market were avoiding him at all cost. Knowing it's not safe to stay in the town anymore, he sold the house and the land, only keeping important things and a piece of Sehun's picture with him, and moved far away— scared and confused. He had no other family except for Sehun, thus he tried to survive on his own, lying his way through, changing names and backgrounds. He never stayed at one place more than ten years, afraid of being discovered. He and Sehun saved a lot of money and resources back when Sehun was still alive; always making sure they had more than enough to go by. Plus with the money he made from selling the house and land, Junmyeon was loaded. He used the money carefully, changing them to new notes, using them only when it's necessary. 

He had to wait for a hundred years to discover that he became immortal. Junmyeon did not only stay young, but he couldn't die either. When he fell and scraped his knees, it healed in under a minute. When he twisted his hand after almost getting robbed, the bone and muscle went back to normal in five minutes. He never developed fever or cold or any other illness. 

It's confusing and scary. He had no idea why he became like this and how.

Until he met a twenty year old Sehun at a flower shop, another seventy years later. 

And that's how it begins. 

  
  
  


_You need me when you’re breaking down_ _  
_ _To wither as a flower yet unblossomed_

_It’s too sad_

  
  
  
  


Sehun was frantic. 

He could feel it. The slowing heartbeat, the clammy feelings. Junmyeon was withering away, and Sehun needed to find him fast.

He would never let Junmyeon depart from the world. 

Through his experiences and knowledge, Sehun found out a lot of things. The first one was that Sehun had to go through young deaths and be reincarnated over and over, with all his memories still intact from all his lifetime. 

While Junmyeon had to live an immortal life, with no way of dying. He couldn't die, no matter what. 

But— there is one condition that the old witch failed to tell him; Junmyeon couldn't die, but he could disappear. Once he wholly give up on his life, body and soul, without anything grounding him, he would be gone. 

Turn into dust. 

And forgotten. 

No one would remember him. Not Minseok, not even Sehun. 

He would be reduced to nothing but dust. 

Scatters into the wind. 

And Sehun would never let that happen.

It had to be at least a hundred years since his last death. In this lifetime, Sehun was twelve when all his memories come flooding back, but he haven't had the chance to find Junmyeon yet. It's when he's twenty that he felt a sudden tug on his heart, and the weak pulsing of Junmyeon's departing soul. That's when he knew that not only Junmyeon was near, but he's in the brink to disappear from existence. Sehun sought every alleyway, praying with all his might; that he could save Junmyeon on time.

The clock was ticking. 

Suddenly, he spotted a curled up figure on the floor, behind an abandoned alleyway. 

Sehun could feel his heartbeat dropped.

There you are.

Sehun slowly came to a stop, catching his breath. His heart swelled in relief as he approached the figure, trying not to scare him off. The person was still breathing. He kneeled at his side; he could recognized that back from afar— that familiar, small back of a person he had loved since forever— no matter where; no matter when; no matter in what lifetime—

Sehun touched the shoulder gently, and Junmyeon jumped back, looking up in surprise with big, wet eyes.

His soul instantly glowed; radiating warmth once again. 

  
  


It’s you.

It's you. 

  
  


I found you. 

I found you.

  
  


Again and again, 

Again and again,

  
  


And again—

  
  


_Tomorrow, you will blossom again._

  
  
  
  


end (.)

* * *


End file.
